3 myths of romantic love

Romantic love is one of the great lies of humanity. It was born due to the exaggeration of the coupled model and the concealment of defects by idealization. It is everywhere: since we are little, animated films encourage us to overcome any adversity: one of the usual prizes for the characters who achieve it is that of love without known blemish.

The main problem of romantic love is the division of sexual roles, turning the man into an actor and the woman into a reward. Although it may not seem like it to us, this model is repeated in many novels, films, series, and other audiovisual products that we know and consume regularly.

Myths of romantic love

The following myths of romantic love are present in our day to day and damage our relationships, creating unrealistic and harmful expectations.

1. The better half

Ever since we saw our first princess movie, they make us believe that there is only one person for us. They project the idea that we are destined for that person who, when we see them, will make us fall in love from the beginning and then fit smoothly with our personality and desires. Then, they teach us that love must be exclusive and faithful without having had previous experiences.

Read:The changes that disappointments produce

But, in love, does the experience stop being a degree? Studies tell us the opposite. Having lived different relationships in many cases helps us determine what we want and what we do not want. It also offers us clues to know how issues we can negotiate or the danger of making certain requests. This does not mean that it is necessary to have many partners, but that it is not essential to have only one.

2. The omnipotence of love

Most stories, movies, and other audiovisual products refer to the omnipotence of love. Love can overcome any obstacle, making our strengths and our ability to endure infinitely. The problem is that there are many people who see their dignity trampled and endure in the relationship clinging to this idea.

Love cannot do everything. In fact, it is still a social construct that we can reject if it does not suit our professional, family, or individual life. Not all people are ready to have a long-lasting relationship, and not all people want or are ready to have only one type of relationship.

Some couples live together. Others who, being able to do so, are happy to maintain their space and therefore live in different houses. Some couples decide to try to overcome a certain obstacle, and others decide to separate. The truth is that they are all equally respectable. And most importantly, all the people who formed or formed them can continue to be just as happy.

Read:How hard it is to say goodbye

3. Opposites attract

Like “if he bothers you, he likes you,” this is one of the most dangerous myths. It has two aspects, one that is directly related to the omnipotence of love and the better half, and the other in relation to exchange for love. In the first aspect, the differences are accepted, thinking that, in the end, the love between the two will overcome the obstacles.

In reality, a couple with very different opinions will constantly face disagreement, arguments, and confrontations. Although criticism and debate in a couple are healthy, continuous confrontation undermines the feeling of unity and compatibility.

The second aspect is one of the most widespread in literature, film, and television. We all know stories in which a person (usually the woman) finds a partner who,  a priori, does not suit him. That’s when, instead of looking for someone more compatible, you put all your effort into making the other person change in order to form a relationship.

Read:6 tips to have a better sex life

The truth is, people, don’t change that easily. The mistake in these cases is to love the person we project onto the future and not the current person. It is with her that we start a relationship or not.

Compatibility, tolerance, and respect, together with a healthy attraction, give rise to love, strong and lasting (if that is what we are interested in). We have seen that the attempt to reflect ourselves in external models of people we do not know creates unrealistic expectations that will frustrate us in the long run.

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