- 1 Relationship and communication errors
- 2 5 most frequent communication errors in the relationship
Empathy and the desire to know, respect, and understand the other are the basic ingredients of good communication in the couple.
Many things, if left unsaid, can end up being a serious problem, even when they weren’t at first. For that reason, we must avoid making communication errors and opt for dialogue and understanding.
Relationship and communication errors
An interpersonal relationship is not something easy to maintain in a harmonious and healthy way. On the contrary, it requires a great continuous and constant effort.
Each member of the couple has had, throughout their lives, different experiences and experiences. Therefore, each one thinks, feels, and acts differently. Each one has its own needs and expectations that do not have to coincide with others. It is normal.
The problem is that many times, we make serious communication errors. In this way, the only thing we achieve is not understanding each other, not knowing each other, and not respecting each other, deteriorating the relationship.
Many times, in addition, communication errors become a habit, a routine. Thus, we find ourselves caught in a difficult situation to overcome. For all these reasons, today, we are talking about the five most common communication errors in the couple so that you can avoid them.Read:4 practical tips for Getting Over Disappointment
5 most frequent communication errors in the relationship
1. Believing that the more we communicate, the better
Quantity does not mean quality. Indeed, the fact that there is much talk does not imply that there is a special connection. For example, we can talk for hours about something irrelevant or trivial, which will not strengthen communication in the couple.
On the other hand, if we have not established good communication principles before, we can even talk for hours from an incorrect base, arguing and not communicating, generating more disagreements and conflicts.
Therefore, for there to be good communication, it is not necessary to speak a lot but to always speak from the base of empathy and understanding. It is necessary to know how to put ourselves in the place of the other.
2. insist on things that have no solution
On many occasions, there is some issue or issue in the couple that is a limit for one of the two. For that reason, whoever has established that limit will not give in. Indeed, if we insist too much, our partner may end up believing that what we want is to dominate and change him, that we do not respect him.Read:5 essential ingredients in a relationship
We must respect our partner’s limits in the same way that we must establish and enforce our own. Therefore, insisting on talking about an issue that is a limit for the other will only lead to repetitive and toxic conversations in which nothing will be resolved, and the environment will be charged with negative energy.
Third mistake: Divination
This communication error occurs especially in couples who have been together for a long time. Indeed, many times, we believe that we know the other as ourselves. Therefore, we consider that we are capable of guessing what he thinks and how he feels.
However, this type of communication can only lead to misunderstandings. Likewise, since we think we know each other too well, we miss the opportunity to establish true communication and get to know each other better.
In addition, by believing we are capable of guessing the wishes and thoughts of our partner, we may be creating the feeling that we dominate and control them.
3. expecting your partner to read your mind
In the same way that you cannot assume what your partner feels or thinks, neither can you expect your partner to be able to read your mind and know what you feel or think.Read:10 irrational ideas that break relationships
A couple’s members are two different beings, with their different points of view, experiences, desires, and expectations. Therefore, it is one of the most serious communication errors to assume that the other can know what we are thinking and how we feel. It does not have to be this way.
On the contrary, we must communicate effectively and express to our partner how and why we feel in a certain way. Only in this way will we be laying the foundations for healthy communication.
4. not taking into account the point of view of the other
Empathy is “the ability to identify with someone and share their feelings,” as the Royal Academy of the Spanish Language well defines. That is, it is about the ability to put yourself in the place of the other, to understand their point of view (even if we do not share it), and, finally, understand their feelings.
Logically, empathy is one of the virtues of a healthy relationship. On the one hand, it allows us to know the other more deeply. On the other, it gives us the possibility of opening more effective communication channels, avoiding misunderstandings.
However, many couples end up considering that it is not important to make an effort to understand the other. It is precisely what we explained by the error of divination. We take it for granted that we know each other too well, and therefore there is no need to communicate.
However, in this way, we miss a golden opportunity to let our partner understand that we understand their feelings and that we care.
Conclusions on communication errors
Most communication errors are based on making assumptions about the other, as you have seen. In this way, we do not respect our partner as an independent person with their own personality.
Thus, we tend not to communicate convinced that we know the other to the point of knowing what he or she thinks or feels. We do not let you express your feelings because we simply think we know them beforehand.
On the contrary, a relationship in which there is effective and healthy communication must always be based on empathy and the desire to really understand and know the other.