those people that are Addicted to love cannot “disengage” from the sensation associated with falling in love.
Nowadays, there is much talk about non-toxic addictions, that is, addictions in which substances such as alcohol, cannabis, or cocaine do not intervene, also known as behavioral addictions.
Some examples of these are addicted to gambling, shopping, sex, pornography, social networks, or the Internet. Today I will talk to you about another of these addictions, barely known; However, many of you will quickly identify yourself. Today we will talk about the people that are Addicted to love or, rather, the Addicted to falling in love.
A crush that “hooks”
We are not talking about something romantic or poetry; we are talking about an addiction, and therefore about chemistry and brain changes. When someone falls in love, they experience a very peculiar sensation, a pleasure so intense that we will not find anything else in life comparable. The colors are brighter; the air is fresher, the people are more friendly, everything is much more pleasant; problems disappear, and optimism and happiness are wasted in abundance. Intoxicated with love! How nice! Only this is over; it doesn’t last forever.Read:The changes that disappointments produce
This is how we all understand it, and this is how we all live it. Well, not all. Some people do not accept the slump that comes soon and seek a perpetual infatuation state. The brain becomes obsessed with these early stages of love, just as a heroin addict becomes obsessed with heroin or an alcoholic with alcohol. We are talking about addition because no matter what the stimulus is, it is a matter of chemistry.
In the brain in love, the levels of some neurochemicals, also called neurotransmitters, increase, such as dopamine, related to the reward and pleasure circuits; norepinephrine, responsible for the feeling of euphoria or excitement and serotonin, which acts on emotions and mood and is responsible for the feeling of happiness.
These brain chemistry changes are very similar to those felt when we consume drugs, for example, cocaine; what it does is block the receptors that eliminate these neurotransmitters once they have been used, thus increasing the levels and causing that feeling of euphoria and pleasure.
All drugs alter, in one way or another, these levels in the brain, each with its own mechanisms. In behavioral addictions, it is the behavior itself that causes the production of these neurotransmitters to be stimulated, and in this way, the levels increase.Read:4 red flags in a relationship
The slump after falling in love
Over time, the brain returns to normal levels of these love chemicals and stabilizes, just like drugs when taken over a long period of time. Some people interpret it as the loss of love, when in reality, what has happened is that the neuronal receptors have become accustomed to this excess of neurochemicals.
The immense feeling of pleasure disappears. This process is known as habituation or tolerance; somehow, the brain is less sensitive to the effects of drugs or, in this case, behaviors that change the chemical balance of the brain.
Then the addict needs to increase the dose to continue feeling that sensation of pleasure, he anxiously seeks to recover the state of intoxication he had, and for this, he embarks on dangerous, conflictive, hurtful relationships, with fights and reconciliations, jealousy, deceit, infidelity.
He sabotages the relationships that work the moment the high of falling in love starts to wane and blames the other for all the problems. It may also be that he constantly changes partners, jumping from one idyll to another in order to keep that feeling of novelty alive. Some may establish several relationships at once, in a stormy intrigue of infidelity, deceit, and lies—anything to maintain that emotional high that the flow of chemicals does not stop.Read:How to resolve relationship conflicts effectively according to psychology
Some readers may confuse this addiction with emotional dependence or addiction to sex. In the first, the most characteristic sign is an exaggerated affective bond and in the second, what we find is precisely the opposite, that is, an effective disinterest. In love addiction, bonding is strong at the beginning and deteriorates when the novelty ends.