personal development

The habit of thinking badly of others

When someone is used to thinking badly of others, they often end up being able to see only the most negative in people. If this happens, our social and emotional life is greatly impoverished, and we may even end up hurting others.

Thinking badly of others is primarily a habit that stems from prejudice. The worst thing is that it is a behavior that usually carries the germ of its own confirmation. This means that the expectation that others will act badly or do harm often ends up becoming a reality by someone who thinks this way.

Those who adopt the habit of thinking badly of others are usually people who have had surprising and negative experiences in the past. In themselves, the problem is not those experiences but the lack of elaboration of them. They have remained marked and give rise to this bias, which unfortunately often leads to further damage.

Feeling disappointed in others causes suffering. Being disappointed by another is a painful experience and not easy to overcome, especially since it generally involves a betrayal of trust, deception, or significant disregard. However, it is up to each one to work that pain or allow it to perpetuate forever.

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” He who suspects invites you to betray him .”

-Voltaire-

Thinking badly of others

The habit of thinking badly of others is a way of anticipating possible harm. Be part of the idea that if we do not pay attention, we will be deceived. Or that if we do not attack, we will be attacked. Sometimes we also do harm to prevent them from doing it to us or, in any case, we expect the worst from the other because we do not want to be taken by surprise.

The consequence of this is that we end up creating superfluous and defensive ties with others, whether they deserve it or not. So we deprive ourselves of the joy that comes from showing ourselves as we are, without shields or calculations. Likewise, we stop experiencing the bliss that comes from establishing an intimate bond with someone.

The worst thing of all is that we end up inducing others, in one way or another, to fulfill that negative expectation that we have about them. A distrustful person generates distrust, as well as distance. It also raises negative thoughts around her. The result is a tense and cautionary situation.

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If you stand in front of a dog and show it great fear, it is very likely that it will attack you. This is because the animal interprets your fear as preparation for combat. Keeping the proportions, that can also happen between humans.

Negative experiences from the past

A person who is used to thinking badly of others suffers from it, even if he does not admit it. This habit impoverishes your life and helps keep the disappointments of the past alive all the time. It is also possible that he develops harmful behaviors with others due to his defensive attitude.

The suffering that is not addressed, not addressed, and not elaborated, ends up becoming an axis for life. Nobody mistrusts others just because. There is enormous disappointment behind this attitude, and often such disappointment came from someone deeply loved or depended on.

Their rejection, abandonment, or damage occurred in a surprising way. This is precisely what marks the most: the fact of having trusted someone and then seeing that that trust was betrayed. Whoever has been the victim of such a situation blames himself and intends not to fall into such deception again.

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Work out the pain

All people fail us at times, just as we do. There is no one who goes through life without having caused some kind of a disappointment to others. Human beings are neither angels nor demons. We make mistakes often, and sometimes some people get hurt by those mistakes.

Fighting with all humanity does not make things easier, quite the opposite. It makes disappointment the central focus of life and makes us prisoners of it. The way out is not to weaken all of our defenses and trust everyone overnight. Rather, it is about going back to those episodes that marked us so deeply.

It is important to put ourselves at peace with ourselves more than forgiving others. If we trust and are deceived or disappointed, that has more to do with the person who did it than with us. It was that someone who made a mistake because we did the right thing: trust.

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